P.S.A.

this is me ventin.
you really played me for a fuckin fool..
well both of ya'll
you who claim to be a better friend than anyone else to me but yet you lie over stupid petty shit that really doesn't matter. i've jus learned that you aren't the same friend i had all those years ago an that i must sever the ties that bind. not sayin that i'm goin to end our friendship but i am sayin that i dont trust you anymore an you lost most of my respect. you keep doin what you're doin an keep on down the path yer on an you'll see that you are not as good of a friend/person as you put off.
no matter what you think i did it compares nothin to the fact that abandoned me in my darkest hour for your own selfish reasons. HAVE IT I'M THROUGH WT YOU AN YOUR PETTY WAYS.

an you.. damm i almost gave into you i almost gave my fuckin heart to you. i havent felt that way about anyone in a long time. i really felt like we coulda been somethin an all the lies that came out your mouth i hate to say this but i hope u feel the pain you caused me. i felt my heart break an it's already so damaged from everyone else who decided to play hockey wit it. you are now dead to me. if you see me on the street act like you never fuckin knew me. because if u say anything to me if you even look my way i might fuckin kill you. granted i'm typin out of anger right now but i mean it. ALL OF IT. don't fuckin acknowledge me. it's for your own health..

as for everyone else. i have officially shut down. i don't see the point of givin anyone a chance to get to know me because none of you deserve me. i've realized that the best thing for me to do is to be alone.

why should i give someone the power to hurt me.. that shit don't make no fuckin sense. i'm retreatin into my shell an no one is gettin in.. an if yer already in you better not fuck up cuz EVERYONE is on their last fuckin strike wit me. ain't no need in tryin to keep ppl around who don't wanna be kept.

I'M DONE. i am so tired of bein dispappointed. so tired of bein used so fuckin tired.




i wrote this out of hurt the first paragraph still stands. you have lost my respect an will never regain it.
but you my heart still longs for u in a way i don't even comprehend i hope we can fix this.

the birth of a new me.

sooo it's my birthday right.. i had alll this shit planned that i wanted to do right..
okay so then someone PLEASE tell me why the FUCk i'm sittin on the fuckin couch typin a BLOG!
because everyone is selfish. i asked for one thing.. to spend time wit my fuckin friends..
noone wanted to wake up for church.
it took me all day to find someone to go out wit last night
i mean shit.. i don't ask anyone for anything.
even my parents ditched me for my birthday.
ppl are catchin attitudes when all i wanna do is have a good time.
but noooo i'm sittin here alone on the verge of fuckin tears because once again
everyone has put themselves before me.
i mean shit i do for everyone an i don't even have the means o do for my damm self
so i make a declaration from this day forward imma be jus as selfish as everyone around me is bein.
an when a muthafucka asks me WHY imma say:
"cuz you bitch ass wasn't there for me when i needed you but i was always there for you. but now them good ole days is gone because the one time i did ASK for you, yo ass was no where to be found. so kick rocks nigga i'm through."
i refuse to stress for ppl who don't give a fuck about me.
i'm really bout to take on this pirate persona.
nigga jus gone be grimy..
an ya'll did it ain't got no one to blame but ya damm self.
i am NOT the sweet nice randi everyone knew.
she's gone. now it's this hard ass that ain't gone let no one in because everyone i've EVER let in has been a
let DOWN.
I'm SO FUCKIN DONE!


so it's my birthday an out emerges a new WOMAN who takes NO SHIT. i'm good. i got my own shit to worry about can't be worried about yours.